I actually kind of don't have a bank account right now. Of course, the reason I don't have a bank account right now is that my cousin's stupid ass half brother wrote me a 300 dollar check that bounced all the way to high heaven.
But if had an account, or as I dream in my sleep, then I would want photo checks that I could put my favorite photos on. These would be the kinds of checks that would have my personal artwork on them or Ansel Adams or the Jim Starlin Warlock era kind of pics on them. Have I mentioned that my dreams are vast and will fill up the night sky? Or I would prefer personal checks that came customized with really cool designs on them Perhaps, say, crayons or a picture of a violin. That would show those fancy people at the fancy Target store that I had some class. Tell me when my dream has become all too surreal and Salvador Dali for you. Tell me when you would be forced to spurt out: "Phil, that's just crazy talk. Cut it out before your mad dreams compromise our very reality itself...!" But I wouldn't stop. I would continue my mad and dangerous Lathe of Heaven like dreaming. I would add a couple of cats, a loving perky gymnast wife and a job I liked that paid decently. Go ahead. Call me mad.
Oh, and I would to make sure I could find such a site that made such checks online. That's my quixotic dream of the day.